Friday, August 1, 2008

part of the beauty of falling in love with you is the fear you won't fall

I need school to start. I need this “break” to be over with. This tortuous, never-ending break.

Without a million things to do, my mind starts wandering. I start reliving past summers. I start wishing things would happen that could never possibly happen. Now I remember why I’ve always kept myself so busy.

“I want to know you," he whines.
"What?" "Know you. I want to know you." Pleading.
"What does that mean? Know me?" I ask him. "Know me? No one ever knows anyone. Ever. You will never know me."

I’m sick of myself, and sick of everyone else, and I just need to leave the country for a couple of years. I don’t want to be Felicity, I want to be Sabrina.

I don’t want to ever feel like the odd one out again. Is that even possible?

In the morning through the window shade
When the light pressed up against your shoulder blade
I could see what you were reading

Oh the glory that the lord has made
And the complications you could do without
When I kissed you on the mouth

It’s amazing how a song, a smell, a taste can bring back a whole flood of memories. Images that you had crammed in the smallest compartment of your brain, determined to never remember again. Then it all comes flooding back and suddenly it is like you are there. You feel every sensation just as it happened. And, now matter how much it hurts, you can't stop looking back. It's worth all the pain to relive those days when you were so blissfully...unaware.

I should stop blogging late at night.

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