Monday, February 23, 2009

of ticks and tocks

I’ve wanted to write. I’ve wanted words to drip out of my ink pen and onto the unblemished white page. But it has all gotten in the way. The books, the work, the incessant cuckooing of the clock. There are days I’m afraid I might go mad with all of it. Until I am cuckooing myself, faithfully on the hour.

I’m clinging onto the shards of sanity by refusing to neglect the inner workings of my own private little world. Going on adventures with Daisy and Piper, and mourning for My Tess. Angel’s in his heaven. Eating white chocolate ice cream out of my Chesire Cat mug. It was as white as snow, you know. It had me wishing for December.

Do you know what would be ever-so-lovely? Going to the cinema in a town where not one soul knows my name. I’d smuggle in candy hearts, gooey popcorn balls, and a giant thermos of tea. When you go to the cinema by yourself, you don’t have to be afraid to cry. You can rest your head in your hands and sob the whole way through (which I always do, especially when we went and saw Finding Neverland. I didn’t even stop when we went back to the car, cried the whole way home).


Sybilla; said...

Oh Tiffany, the driving hours advancing upon my stifled mind and body are sending me mad I am certain of it.

I like going to the cinema alone for the same reason. I barely stopped crying all through The Duchess. If only half of it wasn't for myself rather than the players before me, I feel so tragic and pathetic to be honest. I am considering another solitary cinema trip this Friday, I'll need to either way by then.


Jennifer said...

Sounds like me this week. So many matters need to be taken care of that I can scarcely find time to commit thoughts to paper; an unpleasant predicament, as my mind has been so full of thoughts and cares that it feels like it shall explode if not siphoned out properly.

Hang in there, the week is almost out. :)

tiffany;; said...

Sarah: If you decide upon your cinema trip, might you tell me what movie you end up seeing? Maybe I'd go to the same one. It'd be less lonely that way, perhaps.

Jennifer: Yes, thank you for your encouragement! What a long week it has been, months and years of a week!